General Brasch is becoming a beloved tall-tale in Helldivers 2

Did you know General Brasch can use an Eagle 500kg Bomb as a grenade? Yes, the man behind those military training videos has led a more storied life than you may believe. General Brasch is becoming a legend among the Helldivers 2 community, and his tale is only getting started.

The Brasch facts, or perhaps the “True Stories of General Brasch,” seem to have originated with this post on the official Helldivers 2 subreddit earlier in the week. Reddit user GraeyRebis dropped a handful of impossible Brasch tales, such as my favorite: “General Brasch once killed 7 Chargers with a Railgun. And then he reloaded.” The Helldivers 2 community was quickly inspired to add to the legacy of General Brasch.

The official Helldivers 2 account on X (formerly Twitter) also joined in, sharing this absolutely true story of Super Earth’s mightiest hero:

General Brasch turns Common Samples into Super Samples by staring at them

For those old enough to remember the bygone days of the internet, these tall tales may feel a bit… familiar. The “Chuck Norris Facts” meme is a classic internet yarn that — nearly two decades ago — turned the former TV star into a god who could beat the sun in a staring contest. With General Brasch now being elevated to mythical status, we can say with confidence that time is indeed a flat circle.

Obviously, it’s all in fun. I’ve been scrolling through Brasch facts on Reddit, having a good laugh while sipping tea (the Liber kind, with lemon). Some of the stories are lifted from the Norris era, but refreshed with a Helldivers twist, while others may be Brasch originals.

Here are some good ones:

• “General Brasch once threw an impact grenade and killed 20 rocket devastators. Then it exploded.”
• “General Brasch’s beard trimmer requires heavy armor penetration to be effective.”
• “Children check under their beds at night for Automatons. Automatons check under their beds at night for General Brasch.”
• “The first use of the orbital gatling barrage was just General Brasch firing his service pistol from a open hangar bay in his ship.”
• “General Brasch doesn’t actually helldive onto the planet – the planet rushes up to meet his feet instead.”

Be sure to check out the stories when you can. I hear that reading the General Brasch tales makes it so Helldivers 2 players become more immune to the over-tuned fire.